I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
