Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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