i just wanna soil my oats bro
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
