my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
