glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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