He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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