I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The power of my boobs compel you
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