3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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