The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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