the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
