I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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