Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
