There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
