i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
