I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Why is your signature on my underwear?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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