I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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