Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
