My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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