PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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