whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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