Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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