You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
