it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
