My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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