Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
