why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
