Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Sober January is a disaster.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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