A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My vagina just clenched in fear
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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