just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
