marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
