so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
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