id be glad to
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
