after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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