I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
