i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
