I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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