dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
