went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
