CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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