How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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