i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
