? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize