He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
