I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just invented taco cereal.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
