U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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