as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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