I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
