I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
