so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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