it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize
