I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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