Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize