Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize