What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
