i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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