Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
