It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
