There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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