I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
only you would photoshop your dick
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
