I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize