You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I want to fling myself into the sun
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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