I hate all girls vehemently.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I have aggressive nipples.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize