Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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